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Terkadang dalam hati ini kesal, tapi setelah mendengar beberapa masukkan dan analisa yang ada ternyata aku jauh dari sempurna dan masih banyak sekali yang harus kupelajari. Meskipun kakakku itu menyebalkan terkadang dalam beberapa sikap, ternyata dia sayang kepada adiknya yang juga ternyata lebih jauh dan harus banyak lebih belajar akan kehidupan. Terkadang aku bersikap seperti merasa benar, namun pada saat orang mengingatkanku pasti akan menjadi sebuah makna akan koreksi diri yang membawa kepada pola pikir akan sikap kedewasaan.
Source:https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=179473035428393
At Monas Jakarta |
I'm so tired today, but somehow it seems like different from the previous day. The day started when I bring my sister to work. I gripe about my ego, of desire, and the fact that I experienced. My sister was a very nag, well maybe nag sometimes, but when I enter any given point. She just said, "Do you remember at yet reach km was troubling parents themselves".
Should be more grateful you are, what you are living now by not seeing the flaws in a collection of some of those are in fact only part of their micro. Sometimes the heart is irritated, but after hearing some enter the analysis of existing and I was far from perfect and still a lot to learn. Although my brother was annoying at times in some manner, it turns out she loves his brother which also turned out even further and have much more to learn in life. Sometimes I act like being right, but when someone reminded me will definitely be a means to self-correction that brings to mind would be the attitude of maturity. Any day wore on, and tell me in a message from my friend who I regard as my sister and she sent via handphone. He told the red thread, that "is there in this world who loved me". I purposely did not return, would ask why? and why?. Basic things that want to tell him, what if I did not tell him. Does not return it sucks or abusive. Not such like that what I mean, because I wanted him to realize such a pessimistic attitude that will contain him getting weaker. And got the All-Knowing of everything by GOD, why thinking narrow like that. What happen if people will take the closest in Lord, whether she's still talking like that?!. Though already several times I told him "make the Lord as a dialogue, rather than God as a monologue.". And why did I do something like that, so he knows that there are many in this world a more compassionate life under him. He should be more grateful, instead of complaining. I also like to complain, but when there are people closest to enter and I was silent, my silence is self-introspection and not impose myself. "Another example, I'm amazed, I love, I love to someone. But what if the Lord will not give me an answer it. I'm thankful there is a material that could make me let go of it melallui this paper. I'm grateful to be closer to my family, my mother, my sister, etc.. I can only pray to God, so I was given a blessing rizki in life. So day I've learned a lot "Do not look at everything from deficiency, but look at the benefits of what you can give to people who are around you".
Should be more grateful you are, what you are living now by not seeing the flaws in a collection of some of those are in fact only part of their micro. Sometimes the heart is irritated, but after hearing some enter the analysis of existing and I was far from perfect and still a lot to learn. Although my brother was annoying at times in some manner, it turns out she loves his brother which also turned out even further and have much more to learn in life. Sometimes I act like being right, but when someone reminded me will definitely be a means to self-correction that brings to mind would be the attitude of maturity. Any day wore on, and tell me in a message from my friend who I regard as my sister and she sent via handphone. He told the red thread, that "is there in this world who loved me". I purposely did not return, would ask why? and why?. Basic things that want to tell him, what if I did not tell him. Does not return it sucks or abusive. Not such like that what I mean, because I wanted him to realize such a pessimistic attitude that will contain him getting weaker. And got the All-Knowing of everything by GOD, why thinking narrow like that. What happen if people will take the closest in Lord, whether she's still talking like that?!. Though already several times I told him "make the Lord as a dialogue, rather than God as a monologue.". And why did I do something like that, so he knows that there are many in this world a more compassionate life under him. He should be more grateful, instead of complaining. I also like to complain, but when there are people closest to enter and I was silent, my silence is self-introspection and not impose myself. "Another example, I'm amazed, I love, I love to someone. But what if the Lord will not give me an answer it. I'm thankful there is a material that could make me let go of it melallui this paper. I'm grateful to be closer to my family, my mother, my sister, etc.. I can only pray to God, so I was given a blessing rizki in life. So day I've learned a lot "Do not look at everything from deficiency, but look at the benefits of what you can give to people who are around you".
Sometimes my nature is suck, annoying, confusing the purpose that I gave, but I could only smile and say to myself "That adaah input from me, if useful please jgn taken but if not taken".Since I was a creature full of far from perfection, which is perfect only God is Everything.
That was after I indulge, I asked a friend in the workspace. Actually bagimana hell womankind's mindset. Sometimes I'm confused, is it like to make us confused about his attitude, if I should be cool with the situation which I think is tired, or maybe I should be more understanding will be the attitude shown to me. My partner just smile and he gives an answer, he pursued more will increasingly want much pursued and make you curious. The more you're still going attitude that you'll make him sad, because my people are a people full of hope. I paused, and began to ask "But is it? Not too anyway ..". He returned answer the "choose it are welcome, but not too many comparison". I told him, "I'm tired, I'm tired and tdak want to go back where I just make something as a mere object of the hopes and I'm sick of it". I'd love to gripe with the communication, providing enter, give each other encouragement, share with caution. Then I said to him, and remember with some writing that first school days I read "Live without love, is just like tree without blossom"and it turns out that now I'm experiencing this. My partner asked how you suddenly miss that?. At the moment I saw she's smile, in my heart "and why..why..why.. different people with a smile I've ever known and been close to me before." May seem silly, seeing something of a smile. But for some reason I want to see the smile even if only momentarily. And I told my partner that, when the time is ready I will definitely ask God that he used parts of my life. I just waited and will continue to pray and hopefully will be given the best smile of the Lord ... amen.
Because then it was stepped on at night, I started packing up and preparing to return home with my family. Arriving at home I say hello "Assalamualaikum .. I am coming". And I saw one at a time, especially my mother's face was sound asleep in his dreams. I pray, The lord which is the creator give blessings, health, fortune, and forgive all the mistakes my mother who had given birth and raised me. I said in my heart, "Mom, look at me, I'm an adult now and I want to make you smile even though not much that I gave. Thank you ma, because it teaches the meaning of life. Thank you ma, because memebrikan lesson by example and through dazzling smile. " In my heart I said in English, although not perfect "Mom, sleep tight, angel may protect you while you are sleep. Sweet dream mom, I always love you forever" A young man .....
================INDONESIAN LANGUAGE==============
Aku lelah sekali hari ini, entah mengapa namun rasanya seperti berbeda dengan hari sebelumnya. Hari dimana dimulai saat aku mengantarkan kakakku menuju tempat kerjanya. Aku berkeluh kesah tentang egoku, tentang keinginanku, dan keyataan yang aku alami. Kakakku orang yang sangat bawel, dan terkadang cerewet , namun pada saat aku diberikan masukkan masuk akal. Dia hanya berkata "Ingat tidak kamu, pada saat belum menggapainya kamu menyusahkan orang tuamu sendiri". Seharusnya kamu lebih bersyukur,dengan apa yang kamu jalani saat ini dengan tidak melihat sisi lain dari kekurangan dalam suatu kumpulan beberapa orang yang memang kamu hanya sebagai bagian mikro dari mereka.
Me at my sweet home |
Hari semakin siang, dan aku diberitahukan sebuah pesan dari temanku yang aku anggap sebagai adikku dan dia mengirimkan melalui hp. Dia memberitahukan inti permasalahannya, bahwa "adakah didunia ini yang sayang kepadaku". Aku sengaja tidak membalas, pasti bertanya mengapa? dan kenapa?. Hal dasar yang ingin kuberitahukan kepadanya, bagaimana jika aku tidak memberitahukan kepadanya. Apakah dengan tidak membalas itu menyebalkan atau kejam. Bukan seperti itu maksudku, karena aku ingin supaya dia sadar sikapnya yang pesimis seperti itu yang nantinya memuat dia semakin lemah. Padahal mereka adalah kepunyaan Yang Maha Mengetahui segalanya, kenapa berfikiran sempit seperti itu. Bagaimana jika nanti orang terdekatnya di ambil oleh Tuhan, apakah dia masih berbicara seperti itu?!. Padahal sudah beberapa kali aku memberitahukan kepadanya "jadikanlah Tuhan sebagai dialog, dan jangan jadikan Tuhan sebagai monolog".
Dan kenapa aku melakukan seperti itu, agar dia tahu bahwa didunia terdapat banyak kehidupan yang jauh lebih menderita . Harusnya dia lebih banyak bersyukur, bukan malah mengeluh. Akupun merasa suka mengeluh, namun pada saat ada orang terdekatku memberikan masukkan kepadaku akupun terdiam, diamku adalah introspeksi diri dan bukan menjatuhkan diriku". Contoh lain, aku kagum, aku suka, aku cinta kepada seseorang. Namun aku tidak berdaya ketika TUHAN belum memberikan kepadaku sebuah jawaban. Aku bersyukur ada bahan yang mampu membuatku melepaskan rasa itu melallui tulisan ini. Aku bersyukur bisa lebih dekat dengan keluargaku, ibuku, kakakku, dll. Aku hanya bisa berdo'a kepada Tuhan, agar aku diberikan berkah rizki dalam menjalankan kehidupan. Maka hari ini aku banyak belajar "Jangan melihat segala sesuatu dari kekekurangan, tapi lihatlah sisi manfaat apa yang bisa kamu berikan untuk orang yang berada disekitarmu".
Terkadang sifatku ini sangat menjengkelkan, menyebalkan, membingungkan sesuatu maksud yang aku berikan, tapi aku hanya bisa senyum dan mengatakan dalam hati "Itu adaah masukan dariku, jika bermanfaat silahkan dijalankan namun jika tidak jangan diambil". Karena aku adalah makhluk yang sangat jauh dari kesempurnaan, dan yang sempurna hanya milik Tuhan Maha Segalanya.
Tadi setelah aku beraktifitas, aku bertanya kepada teman di ruang kerja. Sebenarnya bagimana sih pola pikir kaum hawa itu. Terkadang aku bingung, apakah memang suka membuat kita bingung akan sikapnya, apakah aku harus bersikap dingin dengan keadaan yang menurutku lelah, atau mungkin memang aku harus lebih mengerti kemauan akan sikap yang ditunjukkan kepadaku. Rekanku hanya senyum dan dia memberikan jawaban, Semakin dikejar dia akan semakin ingin jauh lebih dikejar dan membuat kamu penasaran. Semakin kamu diam akan sikap yang kamu buat dia akan sedih, karena kaumku adalah kaum yang penuh dengan harapan. Aku terdiam, dan mulai bertanya "Tapi apakah seperti itu? tidak juga toh..". Dia menjawa kembali "memilih itu dipersilahkan, namun jangan terlampau banyak pembandingnya". Aku mengatakan kepadanya, "Aku cape, aku lelah dan tdak ingin kembali dimana aku hanya menjadikan sesuatu sebagai objek dengan harapan belaka dan aku sudah bosan akan hal itu". Aku ingin sekali berkeluh kesah dengan komunikasi, memberikan masukkan, saling memberikan dorongan, salaing mengingatkan. Lalu aku bilang kepadanya, dan ingat dengan beberapa tulisan jaman dimana aku sekolah dan kemudian aku membacanya "Live without love, is just like tree without blossom" dan ternyata ini yang sekarang aku alami. Rekanku menanyakan bagimana kamu tiba-tiba rindu akan hal itu?. Pada saat aku melihat senyumnya, didalam hatiku "kenapa dan mengapa kamu tersenyum berbeda orang dengan yang pernah aku kenal dan pernah dekat denganku sebelumnya". Mungkin nampak bodoh, melihat sesuatu dari dari sebuah senyuman. Tapi entah mengapa aku ingin melihat senyuman itu meskipun hanya sesaat. Dan aku mengatakan kepada rekanku itu, jika saatnya siap aku pasti akan meminta kepada Tuhan agar dia dijadikan belahan jiwa hidupku. Aku hanya menunggu dan akan terus berdoa dan semoga akan diberikan senyuman terbaik dari Tuhan...amien.
Kemudian karena hari sudah mulai malam, aku mulai merapihkan dan bersiap untuk kembali ke rumah bersama keluargaku. Sesampainya dirumah aku mengucapkan salam "Assalamu alaikum.. Aku datang". Dan aku melihat satu persatu terutama wajah ibuku sudah tertidur lelap didalam mimpinya. Aku berdoa, Wahai Sang Maha Pencipta berikanlah berkah, kesehatan, rizki, dan ampunilah segala kesalahan Ibuku yang telah melahirkan dan membesarkanku. Aku bilang dalam hatiku, "Ibu, lihatlah aku, aku sekarang sudah dewasa dan aku ingin membuatmu tersenyum meskipun tidak bisa banyak yang aku berikan. Terima kasih ma, karena sudah mengajarkan akan arti kehidupan. Terima kasih ma, karena memebrikan pelajaran dengan contoh dan melalui senyummu yang mempesona". Dalam hati aku berkata dengan bahasa inggris meskipun tidak sempurna "Mom, sleep tight, may angel protect you while you are sleep. Sweet dream mom, I always love you forever" Seorang anak Manusia.....
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Created By: Sony Kazekage Peanutgarden
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